Motherhood

Current Coordinates: Oh Boy, Hey Girl

If you did not already know, we are joyfully expecting Bebe #2. I’m not sure if it’s the time of year, living in a new place, or simply the fact that it’s our second rodeo, but this pregnancy is FLYING BY! We are already in week 23… almost 6 months… definitely over the halfway point. Woah. There has been a lot of speculation and inquiry, and the answer is YES- we are finding out the gender of this little one. It’s an understatement to say how excited we are to find out if our little pretzel in the oven is a Hansel or Gretel!

 

We did not find out the gender of our first baby until that final push in the delivery room. I have to admit, that was the most exhilarating thrilling surprise of my life, especially since I was convinced I was carrying a boy for 9 months. Jokes on me LOL because now we have a sweet beautiful 1 year old girl. There are still days I look at Leilah and chuckle with surprise that we have a dream come true daughter. However as exciting as that was, we decided to switch things up and find out the gender this time around. The nice thing is, is that my husband and I were in agreement about gender reveals on each pregnancy. We wanted to wait until delivery on the first one, and know the sex ahead of time with this baby. Same page… Unlike our “baby name debacle” where we couldn’t be on further opposite ends of the spectrum, but at least now we’ll have a few months to figure that out. And trust me when I say-we need it (we didn’t name our daughter for a day or two after she was born). So all that being said, I just wanted to share my thoughts and feelings about our precious cargo before our big Gender Reveal.

 

Boy, oh boy!

That would be a dream come true. As I said before, I thought I was carrying a boy our first pregnancy. So my heart & soul are ready for sweet son. I even have a pile of little boy clothes packed away because “my motherly instinct” said boy last time (eye roll/hand to forehead), and I’d loveee to bust those cute items out. Apparently my mom radar was broken. All jokes aside, I have always dreamt of having a son. Running around with a lil guy. Raising a curious boy. Watching him grow into a man. It’s just something that resonates in my bones. There is also a romanticism to keeping our name legacy alive, and having someone to pass that on to. Our Cowle family name doesn’t have many members left, and knowing that having a son could carry on the name another generation is a humbling feeling. I also love the idea of having a daughter and a son. A perfect family balance for us. Picturing Leilah being a big sister to a little brother gives me butterflies. Michael is my older brother and we are literally best friends. Always have been and always will be. We talk/facetime/text on a regular basis, and although we live far apart we have always made it a priority to take trips together or visit one another. I dream of our kids having a relationship like that, whether Leilah has a brother or a sister. And although BOY is in my deepest heart’s desires, it’s hard for me not to imagine having a little bundle of baby pink again <3 Leilah was a little angel, and putting all her tiny outgrown clothes away actually breaks my heart. Am I ready for the frills, flowers, glitter, and tutus to be over?!?

 

Heyyy girllll!

I’d literally scream & do a highkick if I found out we were having another girl. GIRLS. ARE. SO. FUN! Obviously I’m speaking out of my own biased experience haha. But little girls are seriously so sweet and tender and cute and cuddly. Not to mention the shoppinggg. Again, I only have a daughter with nothing else to compare it to, but dolling up a baby girl is one of the funnest things in the world. The skirts, dresses, tights, stockings, bows, headbands, barrettes, hair ties, glitter, fur, florals, patterns, prints, baby bikinis, accessories, and don’t even get me started on the assortment of shoes… it’s all so enjoyable! If you like fashion, shopping, or even had fun with dolls as a child, having a daughter is basically a dream job. Now getting to the real stuff, a daughter is an angel and best friend all in one. Mother daughter relationships are incomparable, a treasure all in itself. My mother and I have a bond unlike any other. She’s my role model and inspiration. I pray that Leilah and I share those feelings some day. Having another daughter would be such a blessing. Someone to share in all those tender milestone moments with… playing dressup, fixing her hair, dance recitals, dress shopping, dating advice, wedding planning, how to cook old recipes… It’s such a special relationship. It also warms my heart to imagine Leilah as a big sis to a little sis. Talk about all the heart eyes! Actually when I envision Leilah with a playmate, it’s often another little girl, so maybe that’s a sign (but we know how off I was last time haha). She’d have someone to share all her clothes and girly things with- However she will be sharing toys and all items with her sibling no matter what the gender because I am NOT buying everything in different colors lol. So although the thought of glancing to the backseat of the car and seeing two sets of sprouted pigtails puts an instant smile on my face, what about my dreams of a rough & tough little man… I’d love to have another GIRL, but are we prepared for a house full of females…?!

 

As you can see, I have All. The Feelings. And not just because of the wild pregnancy hormones. Just truly enjoying feeling all the feels. Not really “mixed” emotions, just different thoughts and ideas. And I know I gave different examples of activities or events in my boy/girl blurbs but believe me when I say we are 10000% open to whatever way our children want to express themselves and experience life. Either way, it’s all a dream come true. Boy, girl. She, he. Him, her. We are expecting another baby, a blessing, a miracle. And our hearts are already overflowing with love for precious little one.

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